Dodgy Dudes (part 3)

Living in a foreign country is a lot more complicated than just holidaying there. Especially in a country like Indonesia where rules are ambiguous and goal posts constantly move. And where I don’t speak much of the language.

Three and a half months ago I started the process of applying for a new visa, one that comes with a work permit and which will let me stay in the country for 12 months.

There is an official government website with an online application facility, but last time I checked it didn’t work.

Because minimising stress is one of the top priorities in my life these days, to avoid the stress and difficulty of multiple visits to the immigration office in Mataram (the capital city of our ‘mainland’ island of Lombok) plus communications with bureaucracy in Jakarta, I decided to use a visa agent, as many expats here do.

Just like with all the other dodgy dudes, at first I thought Dodgy Dude No 3 (hereinafter referred to as DD3) seemed okay. But his dodgyness surfaced a few weeks ago. He made a simple, but big – ‘huge’ – mistake, which has caused a lot of unwanted stress and cost me unnecessary time and money. To the tune of $800-1000AUD.

My current visa expires this week. I’m writing these words in the Lombok Airport, as I sit waiting once again for another delayed AirAsia flight to take me to Kuala Lumpur, where I will wait until my new visa is ready. Because, thanks to DD3, my new visa isn’t quite ready yet, even after three and a half months. I’m hoping it will be tomorrow, or the day after…

The details of the application process are complex, convoluted and would bore you, but suffice to say I started it so early because the process takes up to three months.

At the beginning, DD3 visited me in Gili Meno and we discussed everything I would need to do and all the documents I would need to give him. He gave me a printed List of Requirements.

Made was present at that meeting, and so was our builder. They witnessed my astonishment when DD3 informed me I had to pay not just 100USD upfront annual tax to the Indonesian government, like they had told me over the phone, but actually 1200USD ($100 x 12!). For a moment, my behaviour was not ladylike. Maybe my red flags should have fluttered then at this slight error in advice.

This particularly nasty shock aside, I still wanted to do my best to avoid any of the dramas and delays I’d heard that many people experience. I made a point of jotting down notes on DD3’s List about all the things we discussed.

We triple checked his List and I asked him many times if there was anything else I needed to attend to.

The next day I took photos of all my documents, and emailed them to him as he’d instructed. We had more discussions over the phone. He even collected our company’s stamp from our notaris (lawyer) in Lombok.

A week or so later DD3 advised me that my photographed copies weren’t good enough quality for Jakarta’s requirements, and so his partner came over to Gili Meno to collect them all from me, plus my passport, so they could scan everything for better quality images.

About ten days later his partner returned the documents, and my passport.

Time passed by.

Then, the week after I came back from my trip to Australia to see my doctor and my family, DD3 told me my visa application process was on hold. My passport only had 11 months expiry time left on it, and the rule is passports must have 18 months minimum. He told me I needed to get a new one.

“What? Really? Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” I was genuinely shocked.

“I already tell you when we first meeting,” he said.

I responded immediately, and simply.

“No, you did not.”

The agent became loud and vehement to the point of becoming quarrelsome. He said he had a witness, ie his offsider.

Red flag. To a bull.

Still, I could feel the choking lump that is my sensitivity to dishonesty rising up into my throat. It threatened to reach the water in my eyes. I had not yet recovered from Dodgy Dude 2.

DD3’s greatest defence strategy was to repeatedly tell me he had a witness. Hence, what he was saying was the absolute truth.

Perhaps I am getting stronger. I did not in fact cry, as he talked all over the top of my words and refused to listen to me. I didn’t get personally wounded. I didn’t need to question my truth nor memory nor sanity for more than a matter of seconds, while I replayed in my mind all the communications we’d shared.

I swallowed my raging red distrust and calmly reminded him of his List. And that he had, personally, scanned my passport. That he knew I’d been to Australia. That, in fact, I had two witnesses of my own. But that really was beside the point; their word against ours would not mean much in a court of law.

I suggested, politely, that maybe he was thinking of another client. Another meeting. I suggested that perhaps he had, in fact, simply forgotten to explain the salient details about my passport expiry requirements.

I think my reasoning fell on deaf ears.

“I tell you already before Ibu,” he said again and again.

“If there’s one thing I can’t abide,” I said to him, “it’s dishonesty.” And I expressed my disappointment not only with his mistake, but with his refusal to acknowledge his mistake.

We ended the childish conversation with an agreement to move on. I had no option but to cop the consequences sweetly.

Yes, I should have known about this passport expiry requirement. It’s the rule. So I take some of the responsibility myself. But, I didn’t know. And I would think it is in an agent’s best interests to inform his clients of all relevant issues.

The bottom line is that if I’d known, I’d have organised to renew my passport well in advance, and I could easily have collected it whilst I was in Australia.

Now it has cost me two inconvenient trips to the Australian Consulate in Bali (which means boat and car trips of over four hours each way and two nights accommodation each time), plus a hefty overseas renewal fee.

Worst of all, because of the delay, my current visa has expired before the new one is ready, which means I have to spend longer out of the country.

Further dealings and muck-ups with DD3 since then have shown me that he must be a super green agent. There have been more unnecessary expenses and frustrations. I’ve even had to turn to Guru Google to find answers to questions he couldn’t answer, and information about procedures he did not know.

I suspect his big – ‘huge’ – mistake was a genuine one borne from inexperience. I can forgive that, even though it’s cost me a small fortune.

What I don’t forget is that he wouldn’t admit his mistake and he hasn’t apologized.

I wonder if it was an example of trying to save face? Was he worried I’d try to deduct it from his handsome fee? Worried I’d tell other expats not to use his services? Or is it just because he is too spineless to admit his mistake?

Does he not realize I’m much less likely to recommend someone who is dishonest, than someone who can admit to an honest mistake? It has left a foul taste in my mouth and I can’t in good faith recommend him to other expats.

I believe the world would be a better place if people didn’t lie. Sadly, the three dodgy dudes made me question, again, the integrity of all men. I’m still hanging on to that cliff of truth with blunt, soft fingernails.

But I do know there are good men in this world. And thank goodness I am blessed to have some in my world. I thank these good men with all my heart 🖤❤️🖤 (they know who they are).

In the midst of my introspective despondency, a friend reminded me of this profound saying: that the way people treat you is a statement about them as a human being, not a statement about you. The quote goes on to say that once you realise this you will cease to react at all; but I don’t like the idea of aspiring to that supposedly truly enlightened, but perhaps numb, lofty place. I prefer to continue having responses, but ones that come from empathy and compassion – the blue truth (once the red frustrations and pains subside!).

Everyday I remind myself of wise words written by Don Miguel Ruiz, a spiritual teacher and author of The Four Agreements. I try at all times to follow these valuable life truths. I don’t always succeed. But they do help me to keep my skepticism healthy, to maintain my enquiring nature, and they help me stay grounded, grateful, and optimistic in this super tough world.