Gili Meno-pause

To start with, a travel warning for women coming to Indonesia. Do you know it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to buy tampons here? I found this out the hard way. During my first week in Indonesia, I was at a retreat when another lady there asked if anyone had any tampons. In her stress she’d forgotten to bring them (and her toothbrush!). We were at a beautiful resort in a remote area with no shops nearby. So I sympathised with her dilemma and generously gave her my entire packet of Carefree. No worries, I thought. I can buy more before my time comes around again.

A couple of weeks later I really needed them. By then I was in the famous traditional but new-age Balinese village of Ubud. There I joined the hoards of women and became a seeker. No, I wasn’t seeking to eat, pray and love. I was seeking to Stayfree (ok, insert groan here).

I scoured every supermarket, mini-mart, 7Eleven and apotek (chemist) in Ubud (there are many).

Eventually I was lucky to find a box of tampax. Yuk, I know! But that was the best it was going to get.

I’ve since heard you can sometimes find tampons in a couple of stores in bogan-central downtown Kuta, but last year I was told there was literally not a single tampon to be found in any store throughout the entire archipelago of Indonesia.

I envisaged writing a blog with Indonesian travel advices. The first article was to be a lifesaving hint for women to pack a packet of tampons! How could Lonely Planet and TripAdvisor neglect sharing such a vital piece of information!

On my second trip here I packed a couple of Stayfree boxes and stashed them on Gili Meno. On my third trip I brought several boxes with me. I envisaged selling them to tourists and expats, with a small mark-up of course, as a way to make some pocket money.

And I would tell the locals. What did it matter if using tampons went against their beliefs and culture. Maybe, after enlightening a few local women, and as word got around, I would eventually import tampons, at a reasonable rate, and sell them to the 100 million odd women living here… What better way to make my fortune and finally reach my life-long dream of buying 500 acres along the beach!

But then suddenly, after years of false alarms, my body decided to get officially ‘old’ and save me the dilemma of ensuring I always had to bring over enough of this essential item.

And so this hitherto essential item faded from my thoughts.

They say the tropics can make you go batty. But not me! I just focused on keeping cool, minimised any exertions, and just enjoyed the sea breezes and swimming with the angelfish. I got caught up in the beautifully slow pace and days of simple living. So maybe that is my excuse for not yet taking the next step in my ingenious plan to create massive wealth from tampon sales.

But for some months now I’ve felt the heat more than ever before. Could it be because of the wet season? Hmmm, maybe. But I sensed heat deep in my bones. Struggled with it in my mind. Felt it in my blood. It seemed beyond normal.

December was almost unbearable. I felt myself weaken and wonder if I was cut out to hack Indonesia. Throughout the night I would kick my feet out in a fluster as a sudden flash of heat came over my body (when minutes before I’d been comfortably curled up under the thin cotton sheets). I almost even succumbed to getting an air-conditioner, which I hate, but instead purchased a ‘cooling’ fan, which sadly turned out to be pretty useless at cooling me.

The first couple of months of the year were particularly hard also. It’s funny how, even in the dry season here in the middle of the island, when the land looks like the Australian outback, the humidity levels can go through the roof. But when the rains started I perspired so much my eyes stung from the salty sweat dripping from my forehead – and that was when I was sitting still, exertion level nil.

Going bra-less (my preferred mode of attire) probably isn’t culturally respectful here so to avoid the transparency of the wet-tshirt look I wore a bikini top all day instead of the crazy wire rimmed padded bras that are the only bras that look ok. In my wet bikini top I figured everyone would always think I’d just been for a swim. Plausible enough here 😉.

Now after eight months living in the bungalows in the middle of this island you’d presume I’d have started to acclimatise; but nooooo, I still feel at times that an extreme heat washes over me that literally takes my breath away. I feel like I am going to melt into a puddle just like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.

So many times I have turned to Made or whoever was beside me at that time and said, ‘did it just now get REALLY REALLY hot (you know, as compared to the normal REALLY hot)… or is it just me??’

Made would look at me with his usual gentle and nonplussed demeanour and calmly say, ‘Yaaaa it is hot, I feel it hot too’. And so I’d reach for my hand fan, lift my shirt up to cool my belly as all the men here do, and sigh.

Or I’d escape to the beach! If only I could afford to live on the beach…

So it was a reality slap when I was in Australia a few weeks ago, where even though the weather was pretty warm, I found myself suddenly feeling flushes of heat rise from my belly, up my chest and neck. Within seconds I’d have serious sweat running down my body and perspiration beads covering my entire reddening face. What the…??? It was as if I was back home on Gili Meno!

This happened several times a day. It didn’t take me long to realise I was having the infamous menopausal hot flushes. Or hot flashes, as they are known in some places. Both terms are spot on.

And, unlike in Gili Meno, in the cooler much dryer climate of the Gold Coast, and particularly when I was in Victoria, there’s no mistaking what they are all about. Unfortunately they are not so easy to hide there! I experienced some quite embarrassing moments…😖😡🙃

A few years ago I read the book “You’re Still Hot To Me” by the funny Jean Kittsen. It gave me a lot of laughs. I had started having hot flushes back then which stopped quickly when my naturopath put me on some amazingly helpful natural therapies. So I’d forgotten about them.

But they’ve come back now haven’t they! Secretly sneaking up on me in the blistering tropical island heat. I had been un-blissfully unaware of why the weather here seemed to have so many random heat spikes.

So I checked with Dr Google, and a couple of friends, and visited the local health stores on the Gold Coast and instead of buying more tampons to take back with me, I bought a nicely expensive natural supplement to beat these hot flushes (and with the added bonus of purportedly treating other menopausal symptoms like weight gain, insomnia and bouts of low mood).

And wouldn’t you know it, the supplement has the perfect name for me. It’s called Meno-Life!

Hopefully it will be a perfect remedy for me to beat the irksome Meno-pause blues and help me enjoy Life on my beautiful and hot Meno island.

And now that I have an explanation for my battiness, and something to help me melt less and stay more carefree in this tropical heat, maybe I will start thinking more clearly about my idea of selling tampons to fund my retirement. I could start by repackaging the big stash I’ve still got stored here and market them with the name Meno-Stayfree 😉.