This is a long post – sharing with you all a bit about the Hindu culture. read at your own risk 
☺️.
We went to visit Made’s favourite cousin the other night. Here the custom is to visit whoever you want to at any hour, unannounced. It is how I imagine (and how I very vaguely remember) things used to be in Australia when you would drop by neighbours, friends or family without prior arrangement, and stay for a cuppa. The other night we lobbed at cousin Gusti’s place at 9.30pm, after we’d had our dinner and finished our kitchen shopping.
We learnt with surprise that Gusti’s wife (who we knew was expecting a baby in October) had given birth to a daughter six days before.
Gusti looked awful. He had lost weight, and his eyes were struggling to stay open.
But I was drawn to something just outside his home – one of the large bamboo woven cages, that are usually placed over the cockfighting roosters, was sitting upturned over a rock with a flower on it, and a light was placed inside. I thought there must be a baby bird or something in there being incubated and I walked over to have a look. But I couldn’t find anything and, intrigued, I asked Gusti and Made what had been in there???
This is what I was told…
Under the rock under the cage was buried the placenta of their new baby daughter. It is the Hindu belief that the placenta is the baby’s sibling. In this case, because the baby is a girl, the placenta is believed to be the sister.
This sister is actually the baby’s guardian angel, and will watch over the baby daughter until she is about 6 years old, to stop her from being harmed and also from getting into danger, such as walking onto the street or into waterways.
This guardian angel sister was buried right beside another placenta, the guardian angel brother of Gusti’s 2 year old son. There is no cage or light over this brother anymore, but the rock is still there with a flower on it.
The custom is for the father of the newborn baby to watch over this buried placenta every night for one month and one week – he sleeps near it and wakes every 20 mins or so to check on it. The light stays on. Flowers and Balinese Hindu offerings are placed daily.
This is all to ward off any bad spirits, negative energies and black magic.
This custom is a deeply held belief. Made also, as he grew up, wanted to know where his brother – the placenta – was buried at his home.
Can you imagine as a new father spending your child’s first month and a half keeping vigil like this? I asked how he woke. Did he use an alarm? And the answer was a very serious no, the father just knows to wake up all the time.
And then there are the ceremonies.
There are five ceremonies held for new babies. The first on the day of birth, then at 12 days old, then one month and one week, another at three months and the last at six months. I know a German/Australian lady in Ubud who had a baby with her Balinese husband and she waited until her son was six months old before travelling with him to visit family in Germany.
There are many more ceremonies. The next one, for girls, is held at their first menstruation. Then both boys and girls at the age of 17 have an initiation into adulthood type of ceremony which includes filing their teeth straight (much like I used to do with horses’ teeth!). Then the next ceremony is at their wedding, and then another at their cremation. The cremation is probably the biggest. I may write about it another day. As well as these family ceremonies there are village ceremonies every full moon, half moon and new moon, plus the major annual ceremonies such as the ten day celebration of Kuningan. Also whenever a house or room is completed a ceremony is held. Yes, we are going to have a ceremony for our kitchen in a week or two, with Made’s village manku (religious elder) coming to bless our kitchen . It will be simple and small and we will invite a few of Made’s family and a few Gili Meno locals.
It is because of all these ceremonies that larger businesses often hire a lot of extra employees, as there is always a certain percentage of their staff away attending ceremonies back at their village. It is a fundamental and probably the most important part of Balinese (and Sasak) Hinduism.
On Sunday we have planned to visit Made’s wife in Mataram to return her motorbike, and agree to a divorce in return for him having access to his son, who is now almost 2 and a half and whom Made has never met. The visit will entail hiring a large car and be with the local manku, Made’s uncle who is the village leader, another uncle, perhaps Gusti and Made’s mother (well that’s the plan anyway, things are fluid here so we will see ). It is exciting and daunting and Made is understandably very emotional about the prospect.